WASHINGTON D.C. — The U.S. has seen many rapid social and cultural changes that have downstream effects on family formation. New technologies, social patterns, evolving values, and economic trends all contribute to the changing landscape of dating and mating, and young Americans have been exposed to many mixed messages and experiences when it comes to marriage. The result: a generation that still wants love, marriage, and family—but is navigating a culture they’ve inherited that makes those goals harder than ever to reach.
Today, Independent Women released “The Dating Decade: Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Swiping Right,” a new report featuring original national polling that reveals a widening gap between what young adults say they want in their personal lives and what today’s dating culture actually delivers.
Published just days before Valentine’s Day, “The Dating Decade” examines the decade of dating—often a decade of drifting through life—that the average American experiences today between their late teens and late twenties. This decade has stretched into a prolonged and disorienting phase marked by confusion, instability, and growing dissatisfaction, particularly for women.
“Dating used to be a short chapter of life—a leap from one’s family of origin to one’s own new family. But today, this chapter of life is more than a decade long for the average American. And it’s no longer a leap, it’s a labyrinth,” said Hadley Heath Manning, senior fellow at Independent Women and author of “The Dating Decade.” “This report draws attention to the modern dating experiences of young women and men and the implications of delayed family formation for our politics, policy, and culture.”
Read the full report here.
The report explores what today’s dating culture looks like, what it means for women, for men, and for our politics and society more broadly. Due to a variety of changing cultural and economic factors, the old script for family formation is gone, and it hasn’t been replaced with a new one. Young Americans, despite their desires for marriage and family, are adrift for much of their twenties, unsure of how to navigate dating relationships, sex, and their futures, and have less stability—spiritually, socially, and financially—than ever before.
In the foreword, Emily Jashinsky, senior fellow at Independent Women and host of “After Party” on the MK Media network, wrote:
“With deep research and frank assessments, ‘Dating Decade’ is your tour through the whirlwind 10 years that the average American spends looking for love. Independent Women helps explain why we all sense this unease and how it could get better. The collection is as practical as it is persuasive.”
POLLING: A GENERATION STUCK BETWEEN WANTING MORE—AND GETTING LESS
New polling, conducted by Wick Insights and commissioned by Independent Women, finds that of 1,000 young adults (including both men and women) ages 18 to 29, most young adults still aspire to get married and have children, yet fewer are reaching those milestones.
Eighty percent (80%) of Americans 18-29 years old say that they hope to marry someday or are already married. Seventy percent (70%) say that they desire children or have them already. The problem lies within the methods they have been taught to embrace to find someone to spend the rest of their life with.
The terrifying truth is that women are disproportionately paying the emotional cost. Gen-Z women report the worst mental health of any demographic. Married women, in stark contrast, report better mental health consistently.
FEAR, DRIFT, AND THE COLLAPSE OF CONFIDENCE
Among young adults who are unsure about or opposed to marriage, fear of divorce emerges as a leading concern.
And among those hesitant about having children, the most commonly cited reason isn’t money or career—it’s self-doubt.
More respondents cited “I don’t think I’ll be a good parent” (26.7%)—outranking cost (23.9%), career impact (19.4%), or societal concerns (8.8%)—raising serious questions about how cultural messages have reshaped confidence, expectations, and definitions of adulthood.
A CALL TO RETHINK THE ADVICE WE’RE GIVING YOUNG ADULTS
“The Dating Decade” calls for an honest reassessment of the advice that both young women and men are receiving. It challenges the prevailing assumption that freedom means fewer commitments—and argues that lasting relationships remain one of the strongest predictors of long-term happiness and stability.
The report also examines the role of older adults, parents, policymakers, and cultural institutions in fostering a healthier environment for future generations to meet and mate.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- We should pay closer attention to this extended time period in early adulthood before marriage.
- We can be more honest about the consequences of certain sexual choices and behaviors.
- We can be more encouraging about family life.
- We can focus on forming good future spouses and parents.
- We can reduce political animosity.
- We can foster a more family-friendly culture and improve public policy.
RESOURCES
Read and learn more about “The Dating Decade: Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Swiping Right” here.
Access report takeaways here.
Access highlights from the national polling here.
Direct media inquiries and booking requests to [email protected]
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